This discovery changed my life! I started the change by having piano lessons and I learnt to read music, something I believed I couldn’t do!
I was 36 years old when I discovered growth vs fixed mindset, realised I had a fixed mindset and that I could actually do something about it!
I started researching mindsets when my daughter Rayne was struggling in school with her confidence. She stopped wanting to learn and thought her teacher hated her. Read Rayne’s story here.
That was when I realised I had contributed to her having a fixed mindset – by making her believe she was clever and praising the end result of everything she did.
What is growth mindset vs fixed mindset?
Carol Dweck, a psychologist from American created the terms. She discovered through experiments with students that those with a fixed mindset believe their intelligence, abilities and talents are fixed, they only have a certain amount and focus on looking smart all the time and never looking dumb.
Those with a growth mindset understand that through effort and persistence and processes, their talents and abilities can be developed and everyone can learn what they want if they work at it.
Mindset has become a hot topic lately and a lot of parents now know that it is important to praise effort rather than the end result. However, in order to help your child develop a true growth mindset we also need to pay attention to the learning and progress while putting emphasis on the processes used to gain the end result. Processes such as:
- asking for help
- trying new strategies
- learning from mistakes
How to introduce a growth mindset into your home
If, like me, you have a fixed mindset you need to change your own behaviours, thinking and self talk in order to help your children with theirs. We are our children’s biggest role models and they learn from what we do and say, so let them see you try something new, out of your comfort zone and allow then to witness your growth.
You can start by practising the following growth-mindset thinking and behaviours:
Let your child see you try something new so they can see you develop a new talent or ability. If you have previously said “I can’t do that”, now is the time to give it a go
Let your children know it is OK to ask for help by collaborating with them. Let them know you are struggling with something and need their opinions/ideas to help you to move forward; or let them see you seeking advice from others whether it be an online course, YouTube tutorial or asking a friend for their advice
Ask for feedback and take criticism as an opportunity to improve
Let your children know when you have made a mistake and remind them mistakes are part of learning.
Celebrate your growth
Organise a celebration, if you truly appreciate growth, you’ll want to share your progress with others. During the celebration, remind your children of the journey you went through to get to the end result, don’t forget to mention the mistakes you made and help you received along the way
10 phrases to use everyday to promote a growth mindset
#1 Mistakes help you learn and grow
#2 The more you practice the better you will get
#3 You can be anything you want to be
#4 I love that you tried different ways to do that
#5 I can tell you worked really hard on that
#6 You can do hard things
#7 You never stop learning
#8 You can’t do it YET
#9 You are making progress every day
#10 You have great ideas
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